The Value of Selfishness

A guide to self-respect in a society obsessed with altruism

Adrian Drew
4 min readJul 28, 2019

From a very young age, we’re taught that one of the greatest risks to our popularity and success as an individual is our own selfishness.

We’re encouraged to think of other people wherever possible — to put their needs before our own. But for some of us, the real issue isn’t that we’re being too selfish. Instead, we’re so hooked on the importance of selflessness that we neglect our own wants and desires.

We stay in jobs that we hate and ignore our talents, relationships that make us miserable while ignoring our deep longing for freedom and uphold friendships that drain our time, energy and happiness.

Why? All in the hopes of validating society’s expectations of us to give freely at the expense of our personal demands.

Ironically, we run into an entirely opposing danger: giving too much. As a result, we wind up feeling miserable, exhausted and depleted.

We simply can’t live like this forever. Otherwise, we might wake up one morning to realise that the majority of our life is now behind us, and our time has been spent doing little more than satisfying other people.

What it Means to be Selfish

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Adrian Drew

Owner of Mind Cafe | Let’s chat on Instagram: @adriandrew__